1 00:00:01,520 --> 00:00:03,520 [seagulls cawing] 2 00:00:54,940 --> 00:00:56,440 [tires screeches] 3 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:09,450 Announcing the arrival of Sandpiper air flight 16 4 00:01:09,450 --> 00:01:10,620 From new bedford, 5 00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:13,620 And welcome to Our lovely island Of nantucket. 6 00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:15,130 As you stroll Through town, 7 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,090 You'll probably notice My prize-winning rose garden. 8 00:01:18,090 --> 00:01:19,600 Please don't pick The flowers. 9 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,470 I have a fungo bat, And I'm not afraid To use it. 10 00:01:23,270 --> 00:01:24,600 [plane engine roaring] 11 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,100 [whistling] 12 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,110 Helen. Yeah? 13 00:01:29,110 --> 00:01:31,610 What time should I pick you up? Pick me up? For what? 14 00:01:31,610 --> 00:01:34,110 You don't remember? Ah. Joe, help me out here. 15 00:01:34,110 --> 00:01:36,050 Haven't I been talking About this date all week? 16 00:01:36,050 --> 00:01:38,510 You talk all the time. I try not to listen. 17 00:01:38,510 --> 00:01:41,020 Brian, if this is Another one of your Attempts at getting me 18 00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:43,020 To go out On a date with you, Forget about it. 19 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,520 How many times Do I have to tell you? 20 00:01:45,020 --> 00:01:46,320 I don't date pilots. 21 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:49,330 Ah, yeah, you've used That excuse at least A zillion times. 22 00:01:49,330 --> 00:01:52,430 At long last, What have you got Against pilots? 23 00:01:52,430 --> 00:01:55,430 Look, I grew up In this airport. I know you guys. 24 00:01:55,430 --> 00:01:58,430 It's like you all Are members of some Exclusive little club 25 00:01:58,430 --> 00:02:00,440 That none of The rest of us can join. 26 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,440 You act so smug. So superior. 27 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:05,880 Well, can you fly A plane? 28 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,880 No, no, really? Oh, oh, Take a guy like joe. 29 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,380 Rock solid, Owns his own airline, 30 00:02:11,380 --> 00:02:14,380 A tad boring, But of good yankee stuff. What about him? 31 00:02:14,380 --> 00:02:17,590 Yeah. What about me? 32 00:02:17,590 --> 00:02:20,090 See, he may seem A little more grown-up On the surface, 33 00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:21,590 But underneath That hairless chest 34 00:02:21,590 --> 00:02:22,960 Beats the heart Of a pilot. 35 00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:25,800 I got a little. 36 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,300 You're looking Too far down, joe. 37 00:02:28,970 --> 00:02:31,530 So, enlighten us. What's your idea Of the perfect man? 38 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,500 Oh, I don't know. 39 00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:36,510 Solid, sensitive And dependable. 40 00:02:36,510 --> 00:02:37,510 But with a sense Of whimsy. 41 00:02:37,510 --> 00:02:39,510 A love of music and children, 42 00:02:39,510 --> 00:02:42,010 A sense of commitment, But a respect For my independence. 43 00:02:42,010 --> 00:02:44,010 Adventurous Yet a homebody. 44 00:02:44,510 --> 00:02:47,150 But I really hadn't Thought about it that much. 45 00:02:47,150 --> 00:02:49,650 That sounds great, helen, But kermit is a frog. 46 00:02:52,490 --> 00:02:56,990 So you're saying that If mr. Right waltzed in here And he was a pilot, 47 00:02:56,990 --> 00:02:58,430 You still would not Go out with him? 48 00:02:58,800 --> 00:02:59,800 Absolutely. 49 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,630 Pilots and commitment Don't mix. 50 00:03:01,930 --> 00:03:03,430 Oh, come on, helen. 51 00:03:03,430 --> 00:03:06,440 What about all those Pilots in the world Who are happily married? 52 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,270 I know both of them And they're cheating On their wives. 53 00:03:15,650 --> 00:03:17,150 Hey, fay, 54 00:03:17,650 --> 00:03:19,950 You know how I've been Complainin' I can never Get a hold of lowell 55 00:03:20,220 --> 00:03:21,620 When I need him? Uh-huh. 56 00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:26,120 Well, my communication Problems are over. Watch this. 57 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:29,630 Hey, lowell, I need you At the counter. 58 00:03:31,930 --> 00:03:33,330 Hey, roy, How you doing? 59 00:03:33,330 --> 00:03:35,330 Did you see that, fay? 60 00:03:35,330 --> 00:03:38,130 This thing works Like a charm. 61 00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:40,640 Have you seen That walkie-talkie You gave me? 62 00:03:41,140 --> 00:03:42,640 There it is. 63 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,270 Now, if you need me, 64 00:03:44,270 --> 00:03:47,210 Call me on this thing And I'll be here On the double. 65 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,550 [plane engine droning] 66 00:03:53,550 --> 00:03:56,550 [humming] 67 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,890 Schubert. The trout quintet. 68 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:02,190 Fourth movement. 69 00:04:02,530 --> 00:04:03,960 That's my favorite piece Of chamber music. 70 00:04:04,330 --> 00:04:05,330 Mine, too. 71 00:04:05,330 --> 00:04:07,330 I think of all the pieces Of music about fish, 72 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,130 It's by far The most beautiful. 73 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,200 [bell ringing] Hey, joe, joe, Joe, joe. 74 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,700 Take a look at this. 75 00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:17,210 You, uh, you enjoy theater, Don't you? 76 00:04:17,710 --> 00:04:19,210 Yeah, why? 77 00:04:19,210 --> 00:04:22,210 The curtain's rising, It's act one, scene one Of the new smash hit play, 78 00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:24,710 Helen meets her dream guy By brian hackett. 79 00:04:24,710 --> 00:04:26,280 What are you Babbling about? 80 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:29,790 (brian) I hired that man down there To be helen's dream guy. 81 00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:31,090 (joe) What? 82 00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:33,360 He's actually matt sargent, Distinguished actor, 83 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:36,190 Noted for many magnificent Performances such as 84 00:04:36,190 --> 00:04:39,700 Biff in death of a salesman, Mercutio in romeo and juliet. 85 00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:42,800 Currently, He's the truck driver in That milk of magnesia ad. 86 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:45,300 Oh, yeah. 87 00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:47,300 He's good in that. Very convincing discomfort. 88 00:04:49,570 --> 00:04:51,570 I came over to the island To do a little painting. 89 00:04:51,570 --> 00:04:52,410 Oh, really? 90 00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:54,040 Water colors? Oils? 91 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,980 Varnish. I'm doing the deck On my summer place. 92 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:57,510 [both laughing] 93 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,520 All right, I'll bite. Why is he pretending to be Helen's dream guy? 94 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,520 It's a brilliant plan. 95 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,020 Matt is gonna be everything Helen ever wanted In a guy and more, 96 00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:09,030 And then he's gonna tell her That he's a pilot. 97 00:05:09,030 --> 00:05:11,030 If helen still goes out On a date with him, 98 00:05:11,030 --> 00:05:14,930 Then she'll never be able To use any one of those flimsy Excuses on me ever again. 99 00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:18,440 Brian, do I have to Tell you how stupid This idea is? 100 00:05:18,430 --> 00:05:21,340 Please do, joe. Just for old-time's sake. I miss it so. 101 00:05:21,340 --> 00:05:23,170 You're going through An awful lot of trouble. 102 00:05:23,170 --> 00:05:24,670 Do you really want A date with her that badly? 103 00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:27,640 Joe, I'm used to having Women either loving me Or hating me. 104 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:31,980 And this bizarre middle ground Of adult mature friendships Just makes my skin crawl. 105 00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:34,220 All right. So you get a date. What's next? 106 00:05:34,650 --> 00:05:36,150 I don't know, joe. I'm not you. 107 00:05:36,150 --> 00:05:37,650 I don't need to know Everything in advance. 108 00:05:37,650 --> 00:05:40,620 I don't need to know That we're having chicken Next tuesday night for dinner. 109 00:05:40,620 --> 00:05:43,630 Roast pork. It'll never work, brian. Yes, it will. 110 00:05:43,630 --> 00:05:46,300 Because I'm an expert At manipulating people. 111 00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:48,300 I have absolute control Over the human psyche. 112 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:49,800 I am 113 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,070 The puppet master. 114 00:05:52,070 --> 00:05:55,710 Watch how my marionettes Dance for me. 115 00:05:55,710 --> 00:05:58,210 Ah, finally, someone Who hates sushi. 116 00:05:58,710 --> 00:05:59,710 I just don't get it. Ah! 117 00:06:00,210 --> 00:06:02,710 (brian) High on a hill was A lonely goatherd 118 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:05,220 Lay ee odl lay Ee odl lay hee hoo 119 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:09,690 [barks] 120 00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:14,760 (lowell on walkie-talkie) This is red raider Calling raging stallion. 121 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,760 Come in, Raging stallion. 122 00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:21,770 This is raging stallion. 123 00:06:24,270 --> 00:06:25,540 What? 124 00:06:25,530 --> 00:06:27,040 I didn't say anything. 125 00:06:28,540 --> 00:06:30,040 Although I certainly Could have. 126 00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:33,280 This is Aeromass business, fay. 127 00:06:33,780 --> 00:06:34,640 It does not Concern you. 128 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,710 Come in, red raider. 129 00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:40,220 Can I talk to fay? 130 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,220 [clears throat] Uh, ok, ok. 131 00:06:46,220 --> 00:06:48,620 Lowell needs to Talk to, uh, to you. 132 00:06:50,130 --> 00:06:52,130 Hello, this is fay. 133 00:06:52,630 --> 00:06:56,130 Did you bring that Scampi recipe in today? 134 00:06:56,130 --> 00:06:58,130 Yes, I did. Do you want it now? 135 00:06:58,130 --> 00:07:01,440 Sure. Let me find A pencil and paper here. 136 00:07:01,940 --> 00:07:03,440 Take your time. 137 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,740 Oh, made in korea. 138 00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:07,940 They eat dogs there, You know? 139 00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:11,180 Fire away. 140 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:13,180 Um, all right, Red raider. 141 00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:16,190 Take one pound of shrimp, Shelled and deveined. 142 00:07:16,190 --> 00:07:19,190 Excuse me, But who is sheldon devane? 143 00:07:19,190 --> 00:07:22,730 I know almost all of The people on this island. 144 00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:26,730 That is shelled And deveined, you idiot! 145 00:07:26,730 --> 00:07:28,730 Which is exactly What I'm gonna do to you 146 00:07:28,730 --> 00:07:31,230 If you don't Get back to work. 147 00:07:31,230 --> 00:07:33,240 Roger, raging stallion. 148 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:36,240 Psst. 149 00:07:36,740 --> 00:07:38,170 Fay, can you hear me? 150 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,050 Uh, yes, lowell. 151 00:07:43,050 --> 00:07:46,550 Don't be conspicuous, But can you see roy 152 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,380 From where you are? 153 00:07:50,650 --> 00:07:52,660 Yes, I can. 154 00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:56,160 Is his face really red Like a tomato? 155 00:07:57,660 --> 00:08:00,160 Yes, it is. 156 00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:04,070 Uh-oh. I'll be hiding out Behind the utility shed. 157 00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:08,000 Don't tell roy. 158 00:08:08,870 --> 00:08:11,270 He won't hear it from me. 159 00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:17,580 Good morning, helen. 160 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,080 No, it's not A good morning. 161 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,580 It is a great morning. It is a fantastic morning. 162 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,090 It's the kind of morning That just makes life Worth living. 163 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:26,020 Yeah, I know what you mean. It's a kind of morning 164 00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:28,020 When you wanna Spray yourself With lemon pledge 165 00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:29,330 And slide down A bannister. 166 00:08:29,830 --> 00:08:30,830 Why so chipper? 167 00:08:31,330 --> 00:08:32,330 I met a guy. 168 00:08:32,330 --> 00:08:33,830 Oh, really? 169 00:08:33,830 --> 00:08:35,400 We went on a date Last night 170 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,270 And I had The best time. 171 00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:41,940 Candlelight dinner, Cappuccino on the wharf, Terrific sex. 172 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,140 What? 173 00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:44,510 Just seeing If you were listening. 174 00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:47,510 You know I hate cappuccino. 175 00:08:47,510 --> 00:08:49,010 Hey, here he comes. 176 00:08:49,010 --> 00:08:51,010 Ooh, he's A handsome brute. 177 00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:56,120 I saw this in a garden This morning And it was so beautiful 178 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,620 And I knew You had to have it. 179 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,120 That's very sweet. Thank you. 180 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,630 It wasn't easy, though. Some crazy lady chased me 5 blocks with a fungo bat. 181 00:09:04,130 --> 00:09:08,100 Uh, matt, I'd like To introduce you to Joe and brian hackett. 182 00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:09,970 How are you, joe? Hi, matt. 183 00:09:09,970 --> 00:09:11,970 Hmm. So, Young matthew, uh, 184 00:09:12,470 --> 00:09:13,940 Where do you hail from? New york. 185 00:09:13,940 --> 00:09:17,240 Oh, really? And what do you do there? 186 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,140 I fly. I'm a pilot for pan am. 187 00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:21,110 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 188 00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:23,610 You never told Me that. 189 00:09:23,610 --> 00:09:25,610 I can't believe That never came up. 190 00:09:25,610 --> 00:09:28,750 Oh, well, listen, I have to run. 191 00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:31,720 I came by to tell you That I will pick you up Tonight at 8:00. 192 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,720 Nice to meet you, fellas. 193 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:34,720 Bye, matt. 194 00:09:36,730 --> 00:09:40,030 Oh, darn, darn, Darn, darn. 195 00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:41,800 Isn't that just like life? 196 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,800 You think you've found The perfect guy and wham, 197 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,800 You get hit Right in the teeth, huh! 198 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:49,310 If only it wasn't for that Dang no-dating-pilots rule Of yours. 199 00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:50,870 [clicks tongue] Huh. 200 00:09:51,370 --> 00:09:52,880 Oh, that. 201 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,380 [razzing] 202 00:09:57,110 --> 00:09:58,620 [razzing] She says. 203 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,620 My plan has worked To perfection. 204 00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:03,620 Now she no longer has Any more excuses to not Go out on a date with me. 205 00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,620 Wait, brian, are you sure You thought this All the way through? 206 00:10:05,620 --> 00:10:07,620 Joe, joe, you doubt The puppet master? 207 00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:10,330 What could possibly Go wrong with this plan? 208 00:10:10,330 --> 00:10:12,930 You know what, brian? I'm done with dating rules. 209 00:10:12,930 --> 00:10:14,430 Oh, really? Yup. 210 00:10:14,430 --> 00:10:17,430 From now on, Matt's the only guy for me. 211 00:10:17,930 --> 00:10:19,440 I'm in love. 212 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,140 Any more bright ideas, Geppetto? 213 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:36,690 Way to go, brian. 214 00:10:36,690 --> 00:10:39,190 You managed to get helen, Who you wanna go out with, To fall for a guy 215 00:10:39,190 --> 00:10:43,590 Who turns out to be a pilot So she won't go out with him, But with you instead. 216 00:10:43,590 --> 00:10:45,930 If we were to diagram That sentence, 217 00:10:45,930 --> 00:10:47,930 Exactly where would you Put the gerund? 218 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,300 I think You know where. 219 00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:54,800 You are gonna Tell her the truth. 220 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:55,800 No, no. No, no. 221 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,510 That's not an option. Why not? 222 00:10:57,510 --> 00:10:58,510 All right, Let me ask you this: 223 00:10:59,010 --> 00:11:00,980 Have you ever had The slightest romantic Interest in helen? 224 00:11:00,980 --> 00:11:02,950 Brian, I told you We're good friends, That's all. 225 00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:04,350 Wait, wait, wait, Are you saying 226 00:11:04,350 --> 00:11:06,350 That you've never felt The faintest attraction, 227 00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:09,350 The tiniest yearning, The most fleeting Misfiring of a nerve 228 00:11:09,350 --> 00:11:10,850 In your nether regions? 229 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,890 Maybe-- Well, you can forget That pipe dream, buddy. 230 00:11:15,890 --> 00:11:19,400 Because if she finds out You're in on this scheme You are histoire, man. 231 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:20,960 [sighs] 232 00:11:21,460 --> 00:11:22,360 What did you have in mind? 233 00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:26,070 Does this mean Anything to you? 234 00:11:26,070 --> 00:11:28,400 Isn't that The way deaf people Say sparkling water? 235 00:11:30,970 --> 00:11:34,180 Matt. Did anybody See you come in here? 236 00:11:34,180 --> 00:11:37,680 Just some guy in coveralls Singing moon river Into a walkie-talkie. 237 00:11:39,180 --> 00:11:41,950 Maybe I should, uh... No, no, no, no. It's ok. 238 00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:42,950 Joe's one of us. 239 00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:44,250 Oh. 240 00:11:44,250 --> 00:11:45,760 So how am I doin'? 241 00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:50,760 Fine. 242 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:52,760 Really? 'cause I think I've got a handle on This matt character. 243 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,100 Yeah, yeah, yeah, But we just have A--a slight problem here. 244 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:56,370 Oh, you hated me. 245 00:11:56,370 --> 00:11:58,870 No, no, no, We loved you. 246 00:11:58,870 --> 00:12:01,870 But so did helen. She's fallen for you. That's the problem. 247 00:12:01,870 --> 00:12:03,840 So w-we've got A slight change In our game plan. 248 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,340 You have to Make helen 249 00:12:06,340 --> 00:12:08,640 Not want to see you Ever again. 250 00:12:09,910 --> 00:12:11,910 Oh, improvisation. I like that. 251 00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:16,420 I'm thinking on my feet. I'm thinking on my feet. 252 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:17,920 How about this? 253 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:18,920 No, no, no. It's gotta be something good. 254 00:12:19,420 --> 00:12:21,420 Hey. 255 00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:25,430 Uh, what if matt tells helen To quit playing the cello. 256 00:12:25,430 --> 00:12:27,000 She'd never Give up music. 257 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,500 Why, joe, You lovable weasel. 258 00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,370 Uh, why would I do that? 259 00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:33,700 Well, you could say 260 00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:35,200 That you love her So much 261 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,970 That you can't bear To share her With her music. 262 00:12:37,970 --> 00:12:39,980 It's good. That's very good. 263 00:12:39,980 --> 00:12:42,980 I don't know, guys. I don't think that fits in Very well with my character. 264 00:12:42,980 --> 00:12:44,980 I mean, What's my motivation? 265 00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:46,980 Another $50? 266 00:12:46,980 --> 00:12:48,580 I can make that work. 267 00:12:58,130 --> 00:13:00,630 Brian, are you done With my compact? Shh! 268 00:13:00,630 --> 00:13:04,300 Fay, fay, fay, We're trying to spy On matt and helen. 269 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:07,270 Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Where are my manners? 270 00:13:09,140 --> 00:13:10,040 [exclaims] 271 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,040 Here it comes, joe, Here it comes. 272 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:15,040 This is where Matt tells helen To give up the cello. 273 00:13:15,540 --> 00:13:17,550 Poor kid, She looks like She's in shock. 274 00:13:17,550 --> 00:13:19,550 Mmm-hmm. Now watch. 275 00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:21,050 Watch, joe. Watch how skillfully 276 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,550 The puppet master Guides our heroine 277 00:13:22,550 --> 00:13:24,550 Through these Emotional shrills. 278 00:13:24,550 --> 00:13:27,560 She doesn't believe matt. He can't mean What he just said. 279 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:30,060 Uh, but matt's saying, Yes, yes, he did mean it. 280 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:33,500 Uh, and now comes The climax of Our little play 281 00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,000 Where helen Defiantly declares 282 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,300 That she will not give up The cello for any man. 283 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,640 Oh, my god! 284 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,140 Maybe she misunderstood The question. 285 00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:47,480 Helen, helen. What are you doing? 286 00:13:47,980 --> 00:13:49,980 Matt asked me To give up the cello For him, 287 00:13:49,980 --> 00:13:50,650 So I did. 288 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,120 I'll be ready to go In a minute. 289 00:13:57,620 --> 00:13:59,120 Hey-- Matt, matt. 290 00:13:59,620 --> 00:14:00,620 This has gotten Out of hand. 291 00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:02,560 Y-you're gonna Have to tell helen The truth. 292 00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:05,060 I'm afraid that there's A little bit of a problem With that, guys. 293 00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:08,460 I've fallen in love With her. 294 00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:09,800 What are you Talking about? 295 00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:11,300 Helen's wonderful. 296 00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:13,200 She gave up The cello for me. 297 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,200 But you're not you. 298 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:18,210 You're a fictional character. I hired you to play a part. 299 00:14:19,210 --> 00:14:21,210 Here's your money back. 300 00:14:21,710 --> 00:14:23,710 I'm not acting Anymore, guys. 301 00:14:23,710 --> 00:14:25,780 I love her. 302 00:14:25,780 --> 00:14:28,620 Listen, honey, I know that this is sudden. 303 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,120 But if we feel The way that we do, Yeah? 304 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,620 Why should we wait? 305 00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:33,960 Will you marry me? 306 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,460 Marry you? I can answer that. 307 00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:36,460 Yes, of course I will. 308 00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:38,630 Yes, of course-- What? 309 00:14:38,630 --> 00:14:41,400 Tell me one good reason I shouldn't beat The hell out of you? 310 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:42,700 I'm on Your medical plan. 311 00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:44,700 Look, joe. Joe, joe. 312 00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:47,700 I know things Seem a bit convoluted At the moment, 313 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,210 But don't worry, I've got everything Under control. 314 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,510 You forget I am-- 315 00:14:50,510 --> 00:14:52,010 The village idiot? Correct. 316 00:14:53,010 --> 00:14:55,410 You are gonna have To tell her the truth. What, now? 317 00:14:55,410 --> 00:14:57,710 No, on their Golden wedding anniversary. 318 00:14:58,510 --> 00:15:00,020 Ok, ok. Go ahead. 319 00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:01,520 Ok, I'm--I'm going. 320 00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:04,520 Go ahead. I'm going. 321 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:08,520 Look, uh, helen, 322 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,390 I have something to say To you and you might not Be too happy. 323 00:15:11,390 --> 00:15:13,400 Are you kidding? This is the happiest I've ever been. 324 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,460 Listen, helen. 325 00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:17,970 Matt's an actor. I hired him To play a pilot. 326 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,000 I know. 327 00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:22,340 You what? 328 00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:24,640 Matt told me, And I don't care. 329 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:25,880 And you still Love him? 330 00:15:25,870 --> 00:15:26,880 Of course I do. 331 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,340 Wait, wait, wait. Matt, the actor? 332 00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:30,310 Matt "How am I doing" Sargent? 333 00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:31,750 Isn't he great? 334 00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:34,620 Camus was right. Life is absurd. 335 00:15:35,980 --> 00:15:38,490 H-helen, uh, I have to Talk to you right now. 336 00:15:38,990 --> 00:15:40,490 It's very important. 337 00:15:44,290 --> 00:15:46,800 Helen, you can't Marry matt. 338 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,300 Joe, I don't see any reason Why I shouldn't, do you? 339 00:15:51,570 --> 00:15:53,070 No. 340 00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:56,570 Well, yes, yes. There is a reason. 341 00:15:56,570 --> 00:15:59,540 Uh, I don't know quite How to put this but, well... 342 00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:03,250 I never thought I'd do this. Not like this. 343 00:16:03,980 --> 00:16:04,980 Not now. 344 00:16:06,980 --> 00:16:08,880 Hey, uh, wait a minute. 345 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,890 Joe, what the hell Are you doin'? 346 00:16:10,890 --> 00:16:12,690 What happened to "We're just good friends"? 347 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:13,960 Helen, Oh, god. 348 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:14,960 Helen, I love you. 349 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,460 Hey, back off, buddy. She loves me. 350 00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:19,460 I've loved you For a long time. 351 00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:22,400 If I mean anything At all to you, don't go. 352 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,400 Whoa, whoa. Sensory overload. Whoa. 353 00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:29,210 Joe, I never knew You felt this way. 354 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,710 Helen, helen, What about us? 355 00:16:31,210 --> 00:16:32,710 She loves me, Don't you, helen? 356 00:16:32,710 --> 00:16:34,210 Helen? 357 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:35,210 Um... 358 00:16:38,210 --> 00:16:41,220 Matt, I don't know How to say this to you, 359 00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:43,720 But I guess I've always Loved joe ever since We were kids. 360 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,220 I just never knew He felt the same way. Helen. 361 00:16:45,220 --> 00:16:48,220 Now, wait a minute, Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 362 00:16:48,220 --> 00:16:49,730 You love joe now? 363 00:16:49,730 --> 00:16:51,730 Wait a minute, You're gonna dump me Just like that? I thought-- 364 00:16:51,730 --> 00:16:53,230 Hey, get your hands Off her. 365 00:16:53,230 --> 00:16:55,230 You think you're gonna Take her away from me? 366 00:16:55,230 --> 00:16:57,230 You got another Thing comin', joe. 367 00:16:57,230 --> 00:16:59,700 Hey, hey, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, now, take it easy now. 368 00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:01,600 Helen and I Belong together. 369 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,110 I love her. 370 00:17:03,110 --> 00:17:05,110 Yeah, of course You love her. We all love her. 371 00:17:05,110 --> 00:17:07,880 She's a sweetie. She's a cutie. She's to Die for-- wrong phrase. 372 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:08,880 Shut up! 373 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,880 Shutting up. Shutting up. 374 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,680 Matt, don't do this. We can all Talk about this. 375 00:17:14,180 --> 00:17:15,420 Does that mean You'll marry me? 376 00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:16,420 He is quite a catch. 377 00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:17,950 I thought I told you-- hey! 378 00:17:17,950 --> 00:17:20,460 Oh, god! Be careful. Jeez, no! 379 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,160 [crashing] 380 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,930 (helen) Oh, my god. 381 00:17:23,930 --> 00:17:25,560 [gun firing] 382 00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:27,960 Oh, no. 383 00:17:37,310 --> 00:17:38,740 I didn't mean to. 384 00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:40,740 Joe. Joe, wait, wait! 385 00:17:40,740 --> 00:17:42,240 Oh, god. 386 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:44,750 Helen, all I wanted was A measly date from you. 387 00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:47,750 I didn't expect This to happen. 388 00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:50,750 No, no, no, no. Don't go in there. Don't go in there. Don't... 389 00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:52,750 Helen, please, Don't go in there. 390 00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:53,760 [sobbing] 391 00:17:55,260 --> 00:17:56,360 [screaming] 392 00:17:56,860 --> 00:17:58,860 Oh, god! Oh, god! 393 00:18:11,870 --> 00:18:12,870 [screams] 394 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:14,880 [both laughing] 395 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,380 Ho! 396 00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:20,380 Don't you love The look on his face? Whoa, whoa, whoa. 397 00:18:20,380 --> 00:18:23,390 Hey, we're just yanking Your strings there, bro. Yeah, brian. 398 00:18:23,390 --> 00:18:24,390 After all, we are... 399 00:18:24,390 --> 00:18:26,390 (all) The puppet masters. 400 00:18:26,890 --> 00:18:27,890 [whooping] 401 00:18:33,030 --> 00:18:35,530 (lowell on walkie-talkie) Raging stallion, Raging stallion, 402 00:18:36,030 --> 00:18:39,030 This is red raider. Come in. Over. 403 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,540 What is it, lowell? 404 00:18:41,540 --> 00:18:44,540 I have a bit of A problem here, roy. 405 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:48,040 You know that Wrought iron fence By the utility shed? 406 00:18:48,540 --> 00:18:50,050 Yeah. 407 00:18:50,050 --> 00:18:52,550 I've always wondered Whether there was Enough room 408 00:18:52,550 --> 00:18:55,050 For me to stick my head Between the bars. 409 00:18:56,550 --> 00:19:00,120 Well, I won't keep you In suspense. There is. 410 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:04,630 But either my head's swelled Or my ears only bend one way. 411 00:19:04,630 --> 00:19:07,630 I guess I'm kind of stuck here. 412 00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:10,130 Don't panic, lowell. I'm on my way. 413 00:19:10,130 --> 00:19:14,640 I'll bring the walkie-talkie With me so we'll be in Constant communication. 414 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,640 Ok, but don't take Too long, roy. 415 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,640 I'm starting to lose Feeling in my face. 416 00:19:22,140 --> 00:19:24,150 Heading home, roy? You betcha. 417 00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:28,320 [laughing] See you tomorrow, helen. 418 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,320 Good night, helen. Good night. 419 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,090 Hey. Thanks again For tipping me off About matt. 420 00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:36,990 Yeah, I knew Right off the bat this was A pretty stupid stunt, 421 00:19:36,990 --> 00:19:38,290 Even by brian's standards. 422 00:19:38,290 --> 00:19:40,200 Prop gun, fake cello. 423 00:19:40,530 --> 00:19:42,300 Yeah. It was fun Stickin' it to him. 424 00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:44,300 Yeah, it sure was. 425 00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:46,230 That kiss sure took me By surprise, though. 426 00:19:46,230 --> 00:19:47,900 We talked about the kiss. 427 00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:48,900 No, we didn't. 428 00:19:50,410 --> 00:19:52,910 Aw, I could swear We did. 429 00:19:52,910 --> 00:19:54,910 I think I would've Remembered. 430 00:19:55,410 --> 00:19:56,910 Oh, god, I'm sorry. 431 00:19:56,910 --> 00:19:58,910 No, that's ok. I thought It worked out all right. 432 00:19:58,910 --> 00:20:00,420 Yeah. Me, too. 433 00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:02,420 [chuckles] It was a good kiss. 434 00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:05,250 Uh-huh. 435 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,260 You didn't think It was good? 436 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,660 No, it was fine. 437 00:20:15,530 --> 00:20:18,030 Fine, but not good? 438 00:20:19,030 --> 00:20:20,170 [clears throat] 439 00:20:20,170 --> 00:20:22,670 Joe, it's just a difference In technique, that's all. 440 00:20:22,670 --> 00:20:25,670 You're a stiff-lipper And I'm a soft. 441 00:20:25,670 --> 00:20:26,980 It's no big deal. 442 00:20:26,980 --> 00:20:28,980 Well, I never really Thought about it before. 443 00:20:28,980 --> 00:20:30,950 Does it make That much of a difference? 444 00:20:30,950 --> 00:20:32,450 Yes. 445 00:20:32,450 --> 00:20:33,280 Here, I'll show you. 446 00:20:33,780 --> 00:20:34,780 What? You wanna Kiss me again? 447 00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:37,720 Oh, don't be stupid. This is just An acting exercise. 448 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,690 And just relax. 449 00:20:39,690 --> 00:20:42,690 Don't pucker up Like dudley do-right. Just relax your lips. 450 00:20:51,330 --> 00:20:56,640 (lowell on walkie-talkie) Moon river, Wider than a mile 451 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,370 I'm crossing you in style 452 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:02,040 Someday 453 00:21:02,540 --> 00:21:04,750 God, I love that song. 454 00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:09,250 Hmm. Like that? 455 00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:11,250 That was better, That was much better. 456 00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:13,190 Well, thanks for the tip. 457 00:21:13,190 --> 00:21:15,160 Good night. Good night. 458 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:20,900 Chairs. 459 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:30,540 [ice cubes clinking] 460 00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:31,540 [sighing] 461 00:21:36,210 --> 00:21:38,210 (lowell) Hey, look at that. 462 00:21:38,210 --> 00:21:41,720 I just saw a car exactly Like yours go by, roy. 463 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:45,720 Who'd have guessed There were 2 purple El caminos on nantucket? 464 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,230 We're after The same rainbow's end 465 00:21:51,230 --> 00:21:54,230 Waiting round the bend 466 00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:57,730 My huckleberry friend 467 00:21:57,730 --> 00:22:00,740 Roy, are you My huckleberry friend? 468 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:07,240 Moon river and me